|WINWICK HOSPITAL WARRINGTON|
Editorial CommentDistribution of the Standard went somewhat haywire last week. Sorry - we'll try to ensure everyone gets their Christmas Copy on time. The 2nd NHS Reorganisation Bulletin has been held over. May we wish everyone a happy Christmas and a happier New Year? And thank everyone associated with The Standard during 1972. And finally apologise to Mr. Breslin for pinching his excellent article last week.
The first phase in the development of the Rehab. Officer's function is almost complete.
A memo to Charge Nurses and Ward sisters with more detailed information will be despatched in due course.
J.A. JOLLEY (Rehab. Officer)
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HOSPITAL APPOINTMENTOn the recommendation of the Advisory Appointments Cttee. the Regional Board has appointed Dr B.K.Brooker to the post of Consultant Psychiatrist at Winwick Hospital, with effect from a date to be arranged.
One small or medium-sized Chess table.
|Fred||(He has dirty fingernails, and is obviously stupid)|
|Algernon||(Has piggy eyes, and is plainly insincere)|
|Interviewer||(Half Solomon, half Job)|
|Prof. Pfrz||(All Solomon)|
|Interviewer||Well if you won't have any sherry, Fred, perhaps you could start us off?'|
|Fred.||'Yeah well, like.....'|
|Algernon||'I think what our friend here is trying to say is that here at O & M we, and I would like to stress the corporate nature of our venture here at B.M., we, I repeat, have no problems which couldn't be solved if only..'|
|I.||' I think...'|
|A.||".......in a constructively critical joint appraisal with Management.'|
|I.||'At this point it might he helpful if we could define our terms a little.'|
|A.||'As I see it, management has the problem of optimising production, for the benefit, I might add, of all. Though working with our somewhat inadequate resources, and I regret to have to say that,..'|
|A.||'...such as our friend here,' At this point, with a leer of bestial cunning, Fred lurches to his feet and waves a grubby dictionary under Algernon's nose.|
|F.||'Management means gerring yer own way wi trickery an' deceit. Put that in yer portfolio and milk it.' The camera cuts quickly to I.|
|I.||'To summarise - There would appear to be a measure of disagreement as to the precise meaning of the term 'management.' Prof Pfrz, would you come in here?'|
|PP||'In here? Not for a gold stop-watch. If these two represent the basic factors in this place well, it's probably more efficient to beat your mice to death with a loaded tooth-pick.'|
|I.||'Next week, our panel of experts will be looking at the role of the critic in the mouse-trap producing cycle.'|
|I.||'This week Foreman Critic Fred will outline his usual routine.'|
|F.||'Yeah, well, like.....'|
|A.||'If I could just say something here, we at B.M. were the first in Europe if not the world, I can't speak for space, of course,to permit, no, to encourage, the staff to criticise.'|
|F.||'It doesn't work.'|
|A.||'And this, if I may say so, is how we were repaid. not a single constructive suggestion has been placed before us in two whole years. No ideas for increasing the speed of production - no plans for the more efficient use of the expensive machinery we.....'|
|F.||'It doesn't work - I keep telling you - yer mousetrap doesn't work.'|
|A.||'I really think the whole idea of this post will have to be gone into....'|
|PP||'Fred, can it be made to work?'|
|F.||'0'course, Prof. just take out the ball-bearing'.|
|A.||'Ridiculous. Unthinkable, Er.. how much do the bearings cost?.'|
|F.||'How should I know?'|
|PP||'You'll look into it, Algernon?'|
|A.||'Well of course, I can't promise anything...'|
|I.||'Participation' (he sips his sherry) 'is the watchword at B.M. isn't it Algernon?'|
|A.||"M now, just M. Yes it is.'|
|F.||(whose nails look somewhat cleaner) 'Sharing we call it.'|
|I.||'Prof. Pfrz, what's in a name?'|
|PP||'Well what a name should be - like critic, management, or Pfrz for that matter, - is just a handy tag. Shorthand, if you like. It's sometimes difficult to get agreement on what the shorthand is for, but in those cases it's only necessary to add up all the views.'|
|I.||'But suppose some of the views are contradictory? Suppose people disagreed about, say, the meaning of agreement.'|
MORAL: (Even silly stories have morals.) He should buy the Felix Mk.II. They're really very good.